hi,
How does Islam deal with abusive parents ?
my friend was ( and still is ) psychologically tortured by his “muslim” parents.
he suffers alot from trust-issues due to their constant lying and disappointing him.
they also ignore him and his needs most of the time and turn to him only to blame for anything that goes wrong. any excuse was good for humiliating and beating him.
they’re a rich family and enjoy their wealth; but if you look at him he looks like the poorest of the poor.
today he obviously has issues functioning and relating to people ( at work or any kind of sentimental relationship ). he was never cared for and always lived like a servant in their house. in fact when someone was nice to him, he would get frustrated cause he didn’t know how to respond or what he was feeling.
just to give you a few examples, they would go on holiday and leave him home with no food or money, alone. the only clothes he had were the used from his brother or father ( that didn’t fit him ) or those that me and some friends would give him cause we were roughly the same size/age.
my parents feel sorry for him and invite him for dinner/holidays whenever they can.
the way he was treated at home made him very insecure and frustrated on the inside; needless to say he was never able to focus in school ( or in life ).
none-the-less he doesn’t lack the intelligence nor the looks.
once school was over, he was thrown out on the street with whatever belongings he had.
he then started to spend his time working here and there and doing some traveling to leave it all behind and look for a place to settle. he had been also been going often to prison ( last time he served a year and 4 months due to a drunken fight ). and he has sought psychological counseling in the past few years.
now he’s back in his home country trying to get married, but without the support of his family he is just a nobody ( an outcast from his own family ? ) and you know muslim traditions regarding weddings etc.
we live in a small city, and everyone makes a laughing stock out of him cause he was shunned by his family.
he only started reading about islam lately cause nobody ever thought him anything.
now he says he has no future now and would like to seek some kind of retaliation for the damage they had done to him.
what would be the best thing for him to do according to islam ?
how can heaven be under the foot of such parents ? and to seek their benevolency when they don’t want him ? how is he to marry if they don’t show up and what kind of message they are sending to the community by doing so ?
they are alienating him from his own country/culture/religion.
i would appreciate answers or “hadith” that have specific relevance to abusive families towards their off-spring; as-well-as any advice on how to deal with this situation from an islamic point of view.
i hope i was clear enough.
thank you for reading this.
J’azakhum Allahu khair.

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