I’m a boring kid, but its not because i’m to shy to talk to people, or
make friends considering I still have them when I try to avoid them.
But i’m just getting to tired of all this happy go lucky bull ****,
listening to people blabber about their stupid ******* day, and pretending
like I give a ****, and then I tell them about what boring **** I did, or
what movies are coming and its all just getting really ******* boring.
I’ve been the popular kid, i’ve been the PLAYER, i’ve been the asshole,
but lately i’m nothing, I drop my smile as soon as I turn around, I fake
almost all my laughter I act happy and simulated around my family, but at
school I just keep to myself and just sit in the bathroom so I won’t have
to talk to anyone or look at anyone. I just cant take it anymore, I just
look up to the sky and beg for something to happen to me, but I want
things that are impossible like time travel and the ability to fly,
I know that sounds retarted but being rich and having a **** load of friends
or whatever the **** people dream about being does not see fun to me.
Honeslty the only thing that keeps me going these days its telling myself
that i’m going to be a serial killer when i’m older just so I can do
something thats diffrent and so i’m able to tell myself i’m not just
another idiot playing the game. But I don’t even think I can hold out
till then.
I’m not depressed, just empty, I think about killing myself just because I
think that theres something better after death, or going on a killing
spree just so I can lay in a room till I ******* die, least i’d be alone.
I just feel like shits dragging on, i’ve lost my grip on reality and
don’t even care about dying. I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know
how people can just do the same thing that the people did before them
over and over again, going to school seeing the advancment of society,
technology, and whatever else **** happens daily. Like we don’t even know
what this ******* reality is and yet we don’t ask any questions and even
if we did we can’t get any. Its like people would rather get shitfaced
then figure out a increadible engine for an advanced spaceship.
I don’t know, I guess ill keep going and see how far I can get but, it
doesn’t seem to look good.